starrydynamo007 (starrydynamo007) wrote,

Oh, Tim Burton. Your fans...

Don't get me wrong, I am as big a Tim Burton fan as the next life-long lover of Nightmare Before Christmas (I own 4 bottles of Rag Doll Perfume, and two copies of the DVDs and a VHS copy) and Batman.  I'm talking about the people who think the sun shines out of his ass, the people that talk about how he's just sooooo incredibly original.  He is, undoubtedly, brilliant and super-imaginative and creative; that I am not disputing because I love his work.  What set off this little rant were two things: 1) catching up on my MovieBuzz on YouTube that I haven't watched in a week or two, and 2) Eliss's sister's friend squealing in my ear about Timmy B every single f-ing time I go over to Eliss's house.  Let's just examine Timmy B's movies, just the ones that he himself directed.

We'll go in order, starting with Frankenweenie.  I love Frankenweenie.  I have loved it forever, it ranks up there with Ernest Scared Stupid for me when it comes to "horror" movies for the kiddies.  But, in all honesty, Frankenweenie is an adaptation of Frankenstein, and while it's very cute and a very clever twist on an old story, it's not original. 

Originals: 0  //////  Adaptations: 1

Next, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.  Pee-wee had his own TV show a couple of years before the movie came out, so another adaptation.

Originals: 0  //////  Adaptations: 2

We're gonna skip the TV stuff, because I honestly have never seen it, and while one of them is an adaptation of Aladdin, I'm not going to count it.

Now we have Beetlejuice.  Love it, watch it every time it comes on TV.  Totally awesome, totally started the wonderful Burton-Keaton romancing of the crazy eyebrows.

Originals: 1  //////  Adaptations: 2

Then we have Batman.  Totally love it, own VHS, DVD, & Blu-Ray versions.  We're actually gonna go ahead and lump Batman Returns in with this one, and I love it even more than I love Batman because Michelle Pfeiffer plays awesome crazy-bitch.  Both movies are adaptations of the comics.

Originals: 1  //////  Adaptations: 4

Edward Scissorhands.  If I loved it a little less, I would be forced to throw it in as a weird mixed-up adaptation of Frankenstein and Beauty & the Beast.  But it had enough originality that it squeaks by.

Originals: 2  //////  Adaptations: 4

Then he had two originals in a row: Ed Wood and Mars Attacks!, and while not a big fan of the former, I do get quite a few chuckles out of the latter.  Something about Jack Nicholson is just hi-freaking-larious!  Those crazy eyebrows, I'm thinking.

Originals: 4  //////  Adaptations: 4

Oh, Sleepy Hollow, you were just a wonderful excuse to give me Johnny Depp.  I do thank Tim Burton for his wonderful usage of one of my favorite people.  But, much as I love it, what with the beautiful gore and Christopher Walken at his most Christopher-Walken-on-PCP-ness, it's still an adaptation.

Originals: 4  //////  Adaptations: 5

Now, the thing about The World of Stainboy (which I have seen, thank you very much), is that it falls into a weird in-between place.  It is an adaptation, but the adaptation is of Tim Burton's own book of short stories (which I haven't gotten around to buying, again, after I lost my copy a few years ago).  I'm pretty nit-picky, but I honestly can't decide.  So, I'm not counting, I'm simply giving it an honorable mention as it is both, and doesn't get enough attention for being wonderfully macabre.

Planet of the Apes?  Previously both a book and a movie (several of them, in fact).

Originals: 4  //////  Adaptations: 6

Big Fish?  This was a book first, and no, the book was not written for the movie.  It is actually a very good book, and everyone should read it at least once.

Originals: 4  //////  Adaptations: 7

Then there was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  Thank you, Timmy B, for making Johnny Depp creepy.  While he managed to still remain somewhat attractive in Scissorhands, you managed to kill my soul a little.  Two books and a movie before it.

Originals: 4  //////  Adaptations: 8

Next came Corpse Bride, which I love very much.  But Corpse Bride is an adaptation of a fairy tale, it follows almost to the last detail.  If you don't believe, look it up.  In the fairy tale, Victor is actually a young Jewish man who is practicing a wedding dance.

Originals: 4  //////  Adaptations: 9

There was the Cinema16 Short Films thing, or whatever, and apparently he used his short film Vincent from 1982.  It is an original, and we will allow it.

Originals: 5  //////  Adaptations: 9

Sweeny Todd is not my favorite, but it's still pretty entertaining and I like Stephen Sondheim (love me some Into the Woods).  But still, adaptation.

Originals: 5  //////  Adaptations: 10

Alice in Wonderland?  Um, I think we all know where that falls.

Originals: 5  //////  Adaptations: 11

He's actually redoing Frankenweenie.  He's remaking his own movie.  That... I... Well, it was his movie so it's his to remake... but it was an adaptation in the first place... we're just gonna stick with the original ruling.

Originals: 5  //////  Adaptations: 12

Now, according to the press and IMBD, TB's got two movies in the wings: Dark Shadows, and Maleficent.  Dark Shadows is based on an old TV show and this will apparently be reuniting him Johnny Depp (HOORAY!!!!!!!!).  Maleficent is gonna be a lot like Wicked; it's gonna be Sleeping Beauty from the bad bitch's point of view.  Obviously both are adaptations.


Originals: 5  //////  Adaptations: 14

So, technically, Tim Burton hasn't made an original film in about 14 years and doesn't seem to be breaking that trend.  So, Katherine's little tweaker friend and all the others out there like you, don't bother me about how awesomely original Timmy B is.  Just stop.  I like him too, he's wonderfully weird and is a conceptual genius, but he is obviously comfortable in adapting other people's works to his vision, and I'm okay with that.

P.S. For anyone who wants to argue over Nightmare Before Christmas, or James and the Giant Peach, or 9, he produced those.  He did not direct them.  They still have his stamp of brilliant creep-factor, but he only produced.  Now that I have vented, me and my fading migraine are going to bed.  Thank you.

P.P.S. My fading migraine and I.  So sorry.
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